The Eczema Podcast S2E3 Transcript: How Rejection, Trauma & Stress May Be Causing Your Eczema Flare Ups

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The Eczema Podcast Season 2, Episode 3 Transcript:

Abby: Hi everyone. Welcome to the Eczema Podcast. I am super excited for today’s guest because I have worked with him as well and he’s helped me in my journey, in my healing with eczema, and I just want to introduce you to him because I know that he’ll be able to help a lot of you out there as well.

He’s a chiropractor. He’s a mental optimization coach and he’s an international speaker who travels around the world and lectures to people, to help them get better with not just eczema, but other ailments that they are facing. I’d just like to introduce him as Dr. Nima Rahmany. Thank you so much for being on the show today.

Nima: It’s great to be here and talk to you in a different capacity, Abby. What a privilege. I’m so proud of you.

Abby: Thank you. Thank you so much. And you’ve helped me as well, so I’m very thankful for that. Today, I just want to talk about what you do, how you can help our viewers as well because what you do is very different from the guests that I’ve had previously on this show. Why don’t we just get started by you telling us a bit about yourself?

Nima: I’ve been a chiropractor, helping people primarily in the realm of structural issues; people coming in with neck pain, back pain for the past 15 years. And I’ve always been curious because there’s a tie-in with the physical and the emotional. Most of the reason why we visit doctors in the first place, stress is the underlying trigger. And it doesn’t take long for a practitioner who has been in – whether it’s nutrition, whether it’s chiropractic, whether it’s medicine, to understand that the mental gain, that the mindset, plays such a huge role in the progression of chronic problems, such as chronic pain, such as eczema, even multiple sclerosis, autoimmune disorders; you name it, stress is a trigger.

And so knowing this, I kind of got curious and was wanting to make a bigger difference. So, I started creating workshops. I created a methodology which helps you dissolve the root cause of your stress and past trauma. I started teaching that in my office, and I found that it was a lot more fulfilling for me than treating back pain.

So, I took off on a world tour and traveled around extensively and helped people transform their stressful states. And I discovered that most chronic illnesses are at the hands of a past traumatic event. A trauma is any distressing event. The way that we perceive and the way that we interpret those events make a huge difference, because it’s not really the event. Two war veterans are in the same battle in the same event. One of them gets PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, the other one becomes an entrepreneur and multi-millionaire.

And you ask both of them, “What do you attribute to where you’re at in life?” And they both will say, “Oh, it’s because of that event that I experienced.” Clearly, the interpretation and the story we make out of the event plays a huge role. I was really curious as to exploring that, not only for myself and my challenge in my past with anxiety and depression, but just in my own personal development.

And what I’ve discovered was such a breakthrough for me that I had to share this with my patients. And natural progression happened was that I eventually made this a part of my full-time job. Now, I travel the world and I coach people on mental optimization, primarily entrepreneurs and professionals, and individuals struggling with anxiety and depression. I help turn it around and create their best year ever.

And so, the tie-in with eczema is that most times, people with eczema will be able to attribute flare ups of their symptoms, things getting worse, with a period in their life. And when you ask them, “When did it begin?” “Oh, it really got worse. I start noticing it when I was 12.” “Well, what happened when you were 12?” “Oh, my parents got divorced”, “Oh, I was rejected in the playground.” You know what I mean?

There’s always something that really stands out. And so, just by using the same tools and changing that story, changing the interpretation of those events, you can have a profound impact on somebody’s healing journey – because the whole word, the word ‘healing’ means to make whole, to make whole and complete.

How can you heal by just applying creams and lotions on these things without really going – and you know, and then you have the diet, and then you have the exercise. But what about those stories and interpretations? So, I love helping people with these distressing stories, complete them, and thereby having a profound impact on their health and healing. It’s pretty dramatic, so that’s what I love doing.

Now, I do a little bit of both. I travel, I speak, I adjust, and then I do coaching.

Abby: That’s actually really amazing. I’ll share a little bit – just to back up what Dr. Nima said just now about how eczema can be tied to a stressful event. And for me, mine flared up when my first boyfriend broke up with me when I was 15. And my skin just erupted, and ever since then, there’s been a lot of emotion.

Nima: Exactly, so there’s an emotional tie, an emotional story with every illness. And so, with you, whenever – don’t be surprised if you haven’t completed that story, that whenever a listener, let’s say, will use that rejection as an example. You got dumped when you were 15. Boom, feelings of rejection, and that flared up your symptoms. So now, if you’re walking through the Earth, and then you experience any form of rejection that brings up those same triggered emotions and triggers it again, you might notice the same flare up.

You’ll apply the creams, and do the diet, and meditation – but what I love to do is to go back to those stories, clear the resentment, clear the regret, change the story, change the interpretation that “I’m not good” or “I’m not worthy of love”, or whatever story you made out of that event, completely turn it around to something more empowering, and thereby – what did you notice happening to your eczema after we changed those stories, Abby?

Abby: Yeah. Whenever I go into relationships, I would flare up, even with my husband that I’m with right now. I would flare up when we first started dating. And then in my pregnancy, I was flaring up pretty badly in the first and second trimester because my hormones went weird. But then I talked to you and then you worked through some of those emotions with me. At first, I didn’t realize how powerful it could be, but I think the method that you use, it really changes the story.

And so, it really helped me clear a lot of resentment and guilt. I was very sensitive to a lot of food during my pregnancy. But then after we talked and then you helped me clear some of those things, I actually stopped a lot of those reactions. My skin got a lot better. It was like a dramatic improvement, and I was surprised.

Nima: And as you know, you teach nutrition, you teach lifestyle. Every little thing helps, right? If you want to heal from an illness, you want to heal from any type of a condition, you gotta use all the tools and things available. It’s just the problem is, is that with everything available, we have tons of information on nutrition. We have tons of stuff available to us, but we never examine the story.

We never examine the story. We never examine what’s going on. We never examine how those events occurred to us. And so, a really good question that the listeners would be wise to ask is: When I first noticed these symptoms, what was going on in my life at the time? What was the primary conflict? And then when I do sessions with people, I usually go, “Okay, when this happened, what story did you make out of it? What interpretation?”

And it’s usually an “I am”. So when your boyfriend dumps you, what’s the natural interpretation that a 15-year-old girl will jump to?

Abby: “I’m not good enough or beautiful enough.”

Nima: Bingo, exactly. “I’m not worthy, I’m not good enough, I’m not beautiful enough.” So you’ll notice that when you get into a new relationship or you start to judge yourself, those same feelings start to come up, which I call the dark passenger, the voice of the dark passenger. It’s our shadow. It’s our shadow self that’s always trying to humble us and pull us into the gutter, which we all have.

If you don’t know how to manage it, it takes over, and then you start to develop the signs and symptoms. So for you, it was eczema. For me, it’s anxiety. I would get anxiety and that’s part of my expression of my dark passenger. Doing this inner work is critical not just for your health but for living a life powerfully and a life that you love. That’s what I love to lead people and help people transform into.

Abby: And the funny thing is, I have a feeling that I’m not the only one who is going through relationship issues that are flaring up the eczema, because I have a lot of readers that have messaged me, telling me that when they’re with their significant other, they find out they flare up more when they’re in a relationship, and they’re so scared the other person will leave them. I hear that a lot too.

Nima: 100 percent. So that goes with rejection. See, the cool part about relationships is that we live our life through our relationships. So the stories that we bring, you bring every – if you haven’t completed, if you haven’t made yourself whole with these stories, you’re bringing those stories into each new relationship. It’s carrying years and years of baggage. But unfortunately, we don’t learn in school how to change those stories.

I was very intrigued by that as a chiropractor helping people with stress-related disorders. They each come in with a story. And I’m like, “Well, I’m not really helping them unless I teach them how to change that.” I just love combining the two – the body and the mind stuff.

Abby: Cool. Can you tell us any cool stories or people that you’ve worked with, where a lot of their chronic illness got better once you worked with them? It doesn’t have to be eczema, really, but maybe examples.

Nima: The biggest one is anxiety and depression are the quickest ones. Because eczema, you gotta understand it’s your skin, right? So when you work with somebody, it takes about three to four weeks for a new layer of skin to form. You don’t see the results right away, but for chronic issues like anxiety and depression, those can go into spontaneous remission almost instantly after a session.

Because what we do is we uncover the delusion of the story. We uncover the belief that something shouldn’t have happened. And by removing that belief, dramatic changes happen. Like one lady, post-traumatic stress disorder is a big one; one lady, one of my first clients when I came up with this method, she was a chiropractic patient of mine. I said, “Hey, I just came up with this new method that I’ve integrated. Why don’t we just assign a time and let’s get together and have a chat?”

And I got this on video. She’s had 20 years of PTSD, post-trauma stress disorder, anxiety, depression. She witnessed her mother being taken from the car after a car accident. She’s driving down the street, she sees a bunch of police lights and ambulance lights, she pulls over on the side of the road, some inner voice, inner guidance of hers told her that she should turn around and take a look. She gets out of the car and sees her mother’s car. It was in an accident and sees the paramedics pulling out her mother’s dead body.

It’s when she was 22 years old. I’ve met her when she’s 42. And so for 20 years, she was struggling with the haunting memory of what she saw, not being able to sleep. She had digestive problems. She even got skin cancer. She even got cancer of the skin; anxiety; depression; digestive issues; insomnia. All of those issues which are all independent medical issues – but really, it’s clumped under the same thing. When somebody is not well, their function, their whole nervous system, their whole ecology isn’t working well.

It’s a combination of everything. And she tried everything, and we literally sat down for 30 minutes, and I showed her that her belief that she shouldn’t have witnessed what she did, which was what she was saying to herself – through the overview method I showed her, that her rockstar-ness, her highest values right now, which is helping people through grief, which is what her superpower is – if it wasn’t for that experience, she wouldn’t have had the amazing life she has serving other people, being a rockstar to others with grief.

And at that moment, I showed her the duality and changed her story that she always dreamed of being there. Like, her and her mother were really tight. Her mother said, “I don’t want anyone there at the time of my death. I just want you there.” And so, at that moment I asked her, in the moment of torture, where was your ecstasy? Because there’s always a duality in every moment. That’s part of the method I teach.

And so, at that moment of horror when she saw that, I said, “Where was your ecstasy? Where was your happiness? Where was your happy place?” And she goes, it was the realization that she got to give her mother her wish, which was – she wanted to be there when her mother passed. So, she was able to be there. Her intuitive guides guide her there. When she realized that she got to give her mother her wish, all of her resentment was gone and she realized that she should’ve been there.

It was the greatest gift because she could take that grief now for 20 years, she’s been a rockstar helping friends, family, clients, everybody deal with really challenging times, which is something she loves about herself. She wouldn’t trade for the world, and she saw the perfection of the entire thing. Her resentment was cleared, and that night, she had the first full night sleep ever, and she never had symptoms of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder again. Her digestive disorder cleared.

Digestion is a big one with this. As you know as a nutritionist, you know it’s heavily tied into what you eat. That’s why you teach that to your people. But check this out: constipation, because one of my clients had been dealing with constipation and tried every nutritional supplement, and anything that you could have recommended to clients with that. She just couldn’t get it.

So it turned out that she was holding onto resentment towards her mother. And so, it all started back when she was three/four years old. She had the occurence that her mother was tough love and didn’t care about her, and her mother should’ve been different and more supportive. She should’ve been a better mom. That was her belief.

So I took the time. It took us about two hours and we deconstructed that belief. And she saw how the things that she loves most about herself, which is her resilience, her toughness, her ability to connect with her son, all of that is her superpower wouldn’t have happened if mom was a softy. And she had the belief that she was missing all of that love and affection. She didn’t realize that the entire time that mom was being a hard ass, she was daddy’s little girl.

So when she saw the duality of that story, and she cleared the resentment for her mother, she went and had three bowel movements that day and didn’t have constipation for the rest of her – it was gone instantly. She went and had three big ones and then she pooped every single thing, when it would take her once every week or two before. She was literally holding onto shit.

And so, it was dramatic. So anything from digestive issues, to skin issues, to anxiety, to depression; I don’t treat those disorders, I just show you how it’s all tied into an emotional state. And I put people through a program where they are clearing those stories, and restoring the integrity, and living what their purpose is, and their body and their minds heal, and their lives become a life of power, freedom, and self-expression.

The neat thing is that a lot of people who have eczema actually have food sensitivities and allergies. But the neat thing is that the people you work with, after you work with them, you’re actually able to clear some of those food sensitivities sometimes.

Nima: Yes. The coolest story of that one, Abby, that was the greatest one, is my current girlfriend right now. She saw a bunch of videos that I put out, and she ran a gluten-free dairy-free cafe. Why? Because she couldn’t eat anything, so she figured, “I might as well open up a restaurant.” Your mess becomes your message, kind of like in your state.

You’re leading all of these amazing people who are struggling with eczema, because you’ve taken your story and you’ve transformed it. And that’s the hallmark of every healing journey, is turning around and helping serve others with it. So she was doing that with her food sensitivities. She couldn’t eat gluten. She couldn’t eat dairy. So she opens up a cafe and becomes this leader in the community in Richmond, British Columbia, Canada.

And she invites me to have breakfast at her place, and she said, “So what have you done?” We both have the same mentor, Dr. John D. Martini, so she said, “What have you done with John’s work?” And I said, “Let me show you.” And I sat down and we cleared the emotional cause of her food sensitivity because it doesn’t – they develop over time for the most part. And so, what was your food sensitivity?

“Oh, okay. It was gluten and dairy. When did you notice this?” “Well, when I was in high school, I would eat crappy food at lunch, gluten and dairy, and then I’d go into math class, which was right after lunch, and I would feel stupid” because she was dyslexic with math. So she felt stupid, so she consistently felt stupid after ingesting those foods, repetition of a feeling with the ingestion of a food. Kind of like if a person is eating pasta during dinner time. What is the most stressful time in a lot of family dynamics is during the food time, during eating.

What are you eating during a very stressful period of life? And so, when you’re eating that, it’s like, “Oh my god.” You’re associating that feeling with that food. So of course your body is going to react. It’s reacting to the emotion. It’s now formed an association with it. So what we did was we went back there to that little 15-year-old girl, again. It always comes back to an earlier event, and we changed the story of her stupidity. And she saw how her stupidity in math was balanced out, again, that duality was balanced out by her genius in the creative, in performing arts, in the cheerleading, and the music, and the performance on stage, which was her superpower.

So, she saw that she wasn’t stupid without being a genius in other areas. So, she saw the duality there. And then the benefits of her food sensitivity, she saw how it got her out of math class, how it got her out of feeling stupid. And her biggest charge was feeling stupid. And now, based on all of her nutritional education, she became an expert, and now she’s a leader in a community and she realized that the food sensitivity and the gluten made her extremely smart.

She saw how her problem, her mess, became this source of her genius. And I said, “What would you change about the situation?” “I wouldn’t. My entire life, I have this amazingness, this tribe, this leadership that I’ve accumulated is because of my food sensitivity.” It’s kind of like because of your takeaway – this is what we went through with you. Take away your eczema and you don’t have all of these people to serve. You don’t have a podcast without your eczema.

You don’t have a nutrition degree without your eczema. So you come to a state of gratitude for it, rather than fighting it, you embrace it and all of a sudden her food sensitivity – I said, “Are you afraid of eating gluten dairy?” She goes, “No.” So, she ate banana bread right then and there, no reaction for the first time. And now, she eats – we’ve developed a friendship later, and then she started working with me. We developed a relationship and we went to Italy.

She had gelato, tiramisu, pasta, wheat and dairy; everything after we cleared out, over a period of three, four months, we cleared out one sensitivity story after another. It was hard work. It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t happen without an investment of time, effort, and resources, but she did it. And it was so cool to be able to transform that. So, anything can heal. Healing means to make whole, but you gotta change the story first.

Abby: That’s amazing. And so, it seems like she’s able to eat dairy, and gluten okay now.

Nima: Totally. But here’s the thing though. If she’s having a stressful day, or let’s say we get into an argument, and she’s stressed, it’s not what you eat but how you’re feeling when you’re eating it. If she’s in that mental state that’s not good, she’ll eat that and she’ll get a mild reaction. So it’s not an off and on switch of cure, it’s a continuum. It’s consistent work. It’s feedback for how you’re being.

Abby: You have to continually work on it as well.

Nima: You have to continually work on it and it’s constant feedback. So, if she’s having a stressful day, she’ll be like, “You know what? I’m going to eat clean today, I’m not going to have any gluten or dairy.” But if she’s in a great place, emotionally, mentally, we’ll go have ice cream, or we’ll have – it’s not like a carte blanche to eat whatever the hell you want. But at least she is no longer a prisoner to her food sensitivities like most people can get.

Abby: That’s so true. What’s the message you’d like to send out to all of the people who have eczema, who are listening and watching, and they’re frustrated?

Nima: First and foremost, you have to understand that in order for you to heal, you have to see the terrific that’s come out of it. You can’t play victim to your food sensitivities. You can’t play victim to your eczema. You can’t sit there in your pity party. In order to heal, what I do with my clients is I work with them first to clear their past stories of resentment and regret, and get really powerfully aligned to gratitude of how this has served you.

Where this get you – first of all, you’ve got to first ask yourself when and where did you first start to notice these symptoms, like I said before, and get to work, and find a mentor. Find somebody that you trust that’s going to be able to help you transform that story, so that you’re no longer a victim; so that you see it as the birth of your superpower. Consider that the most traumatic things in your past that you’re trying to do positive affirmations on, you’re trying to run away from, actually was the genesis and the birthplace of your superpower.

That’s what I get you to see. And then use this story, the very ending stage from that point, is to make your mess your message. And you are a perfect example of this. This is what you’re doing as part of your healing journey. It’s really about making this problem not about you, but about how you can serve others. That’s going to take you doing a lot of work, getting mentorship, not just going with what the doctor says, and taking pills, and not taking responsibility. This is not about blaming. I’m not blaming. “Are you saying it’s my fault?” No.

I’m not saying it’s your fault, but I’m saying it is your responsibility to address all aspects; change your story and your victimhood, and use that to serve others. And so, that’s really my message, is to really make that shift and get a mentor, for god sakes. Get a coach.

Abby: And you know, it’s interesting. I think a lot of people don’t see the emotional connection with the eczema. So, it’s good that you’re bringing it up.

Nima: Yes, and pay attention; start paying attention. In the times of flare ups, you’ll notice what’s going on in your life. What’s happening in my life during the moments of flare-up? And you’ll always see something. You’ll always see a conflict. This really becomes a game of resilience. This really becomes a game of, how well do you handle adversity? Have you worked towards making yourself more anti-fragile? And your anxieties, your depressions, your stories, these thoughts, this is a personal development game. This isn’t a treating a condition game.

This is a personal growth journey.

Abby: And I remember you saying to me – it was actually pretty eye opening. I remember you saying to me that my skin flares up when I feel bad about myself.

Nima: Yes, guilt. Exactly. It’s a punishment of self. You and I were working through something that you had guilt about. So you found that when you are occuring to yourself as a piece of crap, and you’re beating yourself up, you can delegate that to your skin doing it for you. Or some people, when they are feeling crap about themselves, and they want to feel better about themselves, they can delegate it to an abusive relationship.

You know what I mean? So you see people getting into these types of things, abuse and all of that stuff comes from a feeling towards yourself that you’re delegating to another person. Not saying fault or blame, I’m saying once you get that, you now have empowered yourself to change it. It’s all about empowering you.

Abby: So for the people who do end up finding a mentor, like for myself, I found that – like before I met you, I tried to do a lot of affirmations, and I tried to see the good in it. But I didn’t find it as powerful as like when I did your workbook and working through those steps. Is there anything that you can say there that might help some of my readers?

Nima: Get a freaking mentor, get a coach. We only have this one life, and we pretend like we’re not going to die. We pretend that we’re going to live forever. And why not kind of 10x and accelerate results by getting help from somebody who you trust, who is a mentor, who is going to be able to transform you? And by all means, [INAUDIBLE [00:28:32] invest in yourself and find somebody that you trust that’s going to be able to transform it. You were doing the workbook yourself, which was helpful. But then when you took the step in getting a mentor that will hold you accountable, will put your feet to the fire and call you out when you’re full of it.

Abby: Yeah, you did that too.

Nima: I’m not going to be Mr. Nice Guy. My number one goal for you is results. I’ll do that by any means necessary. Sometimes, that means being supportive of you, sometimes that means calling you out and being challenging to you. So, getting a mentor that you know that specialize in that specific area – if somebody came to me and said, “Can you help me clear eczema?”

I would say, “Well, look, I don’t treat eczema, but let me have a conversation with you to see when it began.” And when you called me I said, “Oh, it started when you were 15. Well, what happened?” “Well, it came at the hands of a breakup, and I’m going through a few things with my relationship now, and feelings of guilt, and all of this stuff that flare up and all of this.” And I’m like, “Okay, well, then yes, then we can deal with that specifically.”

So, find somebody that you trust that can guide you into the transformation.

Abby: Dr. Nima, can you tell us a little bit about your programs as well that people can join?

Nima: Yes. The program that I have is called Powerfully Aligned. It’s what I’ve discovered in 16 years of working as a healthcare practitioner, is that everybody, whether it’s cancer, or whether you have anxiety, or whether you have skin problems or eczema, or whatever, that everybody – because we are all human beings. If we just aligned ourselves in the right way with purpose, cleaning up and restoring integrity with our relationships, coming up with morning rituals, exercise, nutrition, all of that stuff, and living what we’re here to do, and cleaning up all the parts that are incomplete in your life, and organizing yourself financially, that you’re able to within a very short period of time transform and turn the ship around.

Whether it’s your health, whether it’s relationship, or whether it’s your financial situation or purpose in life – you can do so by getting yourself powerfully aligned. So, I only take on people who are very serious about making that shift in their lives, and it’s an application process. They apply to work with me. I have a free consultation with them to see what’s holding them back, how willing they are to do the work, and if the right fit is there, we get started. And you notice a massive transformation in two weeks.

So, anyone with skin problems, or anybody struggling with anxiety, or they feel like they’ve lost their way or their purpose, this is the perfect way. What happens is when you’re misaligned, you feel kind of hopeless. You don’t sleep very well at night. You look around and you notice that other people are happy and you’re not. You don’t feel complete or whole within your relationship. You’re holding onto some sort of a guilt from your past. You don’t see what the future is or you’re disconnected and feel lost. So, what I do is really help them get reconnected with that, so that they can love their lives again and they can have their power, they can have their freedom of who they want to be, and live authentically, and not have to hide and put on a mask.

And then they can have their self expression again. That’s called powerful alignment, and it takes about 90 days. But the results are dramatic. Within the first – my commitment is within the first two weeks, you’re noticing a huge difference.

Abby: I think that’s amazing and I highly encourage any of my listeners or viewers out there to check it out. Do you have website that people can check out?

Nima: Yes, I’ll provide you with a link in the shownotes. It’ll be right there. They can send an application. What they can do, basically, I have a Facebook group that I’m inviting everybody to join. It’s called The Art of Powerful Alignment.

Abby: The Art of Powerful Alignment, so check that out on Facebook.

Nima: It’s mind, body, and life optimization. That includes your skin and everything. It just includes everything in general. So it’s called The Art of Powerful Alignment.

Abby: Cool. Dr. Nima, do you have any last words of advice for people suffering from eczema?

Nima: Yes. I do. Start to find how this is benefiting you by getting very real. How is this serving you? How is this forcing you to become a deeper person? How is it forcing you to love other parts of you? How is it helping humble you? How is it helping you to connect with others and make you more compassionate? Really start by writing a list of things you’re grateful for.

If you can’t find it, then that’s a good chance that you’re in a state of distress. So, really finding how it’s serving you, and then getting to work in completing these incompletes in your life, and finding where the emotional triggers are for this, and getting to work on clearing it. Because healing is possible, you just have to have the right guide and you have to have the desire.

Abby: You know, it’s funny. I did a video about a year or maybe more ago on why eczema can be a blessing in disguise. And some people actually got angry, because they said, “How can this be a blessing to me?”

Nima: That’s right. The people who are angry and they don’t want to see that, and they get angry, please refrain from reaching out to me. My work is not for you. But if you are wanting to find the value in it so that you can take this challenge and use it to serve other people, and to make the highest version of you, then I’m interested in working with those types of people. But yes, those angry people can stay angry.

Abby: Thank so much, Dr. Nima. I think it has been tremendously helpful and you’re a wealth of knowledge. I think that what you do is very unique, because there’s not a lot of people who are in this space, who are helping people clear their emotions. And especially – it’s just different, your methodology. I love how it is helping so many people overcome chronic illness.

Nima: Awesome. I just love doing it. It’s so much fun. Thanks for reaching out and thanks for participating and getting the results that you’ve gotten. The sky is the limit for you, and good luck with your new baby!

Abby: Thank you, thank you.

 

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